HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF IRRESISTIBLE!

We asked our panel of relationship experts how to improve your “chemistry quotient” to that we become more compatible with people we meet.

1. Maintain a well-groomed appearance – Anyone’s first impression is largely formed by how you present yourself.
2. Demonstrate an open, warm and inviting physical presence – Stand erect with your shoulders back. Maintain open palms and an easy going, welcoming posture. Smile often and establish good eye contact.
3. Breathe deeply – regular deep breathing calms the mind while stimulating circulation.
4. Be aware of the tone and timbre of your voice – it’s not so much what you say as how you say it. Is the tempo of your speech leisurely, or is it rushed, jumpy and fragmented? Is your tone of voice soothing, calm and confident? Or is it agitated or whiny?
5. Don’t dominate the conversation – Someone who shows a genuine interest in others is very appealing.
6. Be careful not to criticize, judge or lecture –criticism always activates defense, which means others will protect themselves by withdrawing.
7. Use Reflective Listening – This is a simple technique that involves paraphrasing back to the person what she has just said to you.
8. Use the word I – When discussing difficult topics with co-workers, family or friends, try to beginning your sentences with I as opposed to the accusatory you.
9. Use phrases that instantly create good will. Words and phrases like please, thank you and I’m sorry go a long way toward defusing potentially explosive encounters
10. Keep moving! – Any form of exercise increases energy and relaxation and dissolves stress and tension.
11. Let go of Urgency: -- Life is not an emergency.
12. Honor Yourself – Make the choice to love, honor and value yourself completely. When you create happiness in your life, you create happy energy and people are drawn to it!

Family Circle 2/15/05